My Relaxed Hair Care Routine

My Hair Journey

One of the things I admire about myself is my hair. I have been blessed with healthy hair that grows really fast. I was also blessed to have a mother who took good care of my hair growing up and could afford Black hair care products. Ever since I was two years old, I have been getting relaxers. However, one day in college, I wanted to see what my natural hair was like. I did the big chop and had a little afro. I had this afro for about two years before I decided to start getting relaxers again. I love my natural hair, but the maintenance was not manageable. Every day, I would have to put more products in my hair to untangle the curls. My hair is very thick and grows fast, so maintaining an afro requires too much time in the mornings. So, I got a relaxer, and my hair became more manageable and healthier. Some Black people may be surprised that my hair was healthier with relaxers than natural, but it was. I have low porosity hair, which means it is dry and doesn’t absorb water easily. My hair can absorb products more easily with a relaxer and heat. Since then, I have stopped air drying my hair and started blow drying it every time. This decision may not be for everyone, but it works for me.

Anthropologie Printed Peasant Blouse from Nuuly.

My Hair Routine

Every 6-8 weeks, I get a relaxer. If you don’t know what relaxers are, it is chemically straightening my hair that is permanent. After my big chop, I had a full relaxer on all my hair, but since then, I get root touch-ups. Sometimes, I go to a Black hair care professional, but most of the time, my mother does it at home. I have discovered that the Olive Oil brand of relaxers works best for me. I get the super strength to achieve salon quality at home. This brand is only a few dollars at Dollar General, which is much cheaper than going to the salon. 

I wash my hair every two weeks. Some people wash it more often and some less often, but people with curly hair are recommended to wash their hair 1-2 times every two weeks to reduce dryness. I wash my hair with shampoo and conditioner from different brands to switch things up. Lately, I have been using the Cantu brand of shampoo and conditioner. I shampoo three times to remove product, oil, and dirt. Depending on how lazy or distracted I get, I leave the conditioner on for 15 minutes to an hour. Then, I blow dry with a comb attachment in small sections. I use three different hair moisturizers on each section before blow drying. I use a leave-in conditioner, oil moisturizer, and hair oil as a heat protectant. I have found that the Olive Oil brand of products works best for my hair. I put all three products in that order to get my scalp and ends. After blow-drying my entire hair, I will flat iron it. Sometimes, I immediately flat iron my hair, and others, I wait until the next day. Yes, wash days can take a few hours out of my day, so I usually wait until the weekend. 

I use the hair oil moisturizer from the Olive Oil brand daily. I put it all over my hair, focusing more on the scalp and ends. I do this before combing and brushing. I try to remember to sleep with a bonnet or scarf on my hair at night. I have noticed my hair is less tangled and more moisturized when wearing it. It allows my hair not to get tousled while I sleep or have the oils absorbed into my pillow. This may seem like a lot of maintenance, but it is less than with natural hair. 

Give Yourself Grace

This past week, God has been reminding me to give myself grace. I can be a perfectionist, and when coupled with people pleasing, it can be self-destructing. It is not that grace is something I find difficult to extend to other people, but I rarely do when it comes to myself. I set extremely high standards for myself that, when not met, I can be very hard on myself. This is not a healthy mindset or way of life. The Bible says, “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness (Lamentations 3:22).” We are to be merciful just like our Father is merciful (Luke 6:36). If God’s mercy is new every morning for us, then we should also forgive ourselves. Every day is a new chance to start fresh or try again. Forgive yourself. Everyone makes mistakes. Here are more verses if you, too, struggle with perfectionism.

“Not that I have already obtained this or have already reached the goal; but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Beloved, I do not consider that I have made it my own; but this one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the heavenly call of God in Christ Jesus (Philippians 3:12-14).”

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light (Matthew 11:28-30).”

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well (Psalm 139:14).”